Thursday, April 6th, 2006
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12:39 pm - i hate keystone light
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everybody out here known to man drinks keystone light. and chews husky wtf?AHHHHHHHHHH i got my first 4 whelling experiance not to long ago at rabbit creek by my x's place in kilgore>> that was interesting i do not know how to drive a standard but i learned how to drive a standard 4- wheeler. i only hit straight into a tree one time. at one point i was supposed to move down there but the future no longer looks that way i am really enjoying being away from the city. it almost makes me want to buy some land and have a house possibly a family who knows all the possibilities are endless.. i got away from somone and i feel like a totally different person it is a nice feeling but maybe it is for the best and maybe i need to find a true love without the drugs a party scene. i needed to slow down and i think this is my way to do so.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, March 20th, 2006
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12:34 pm - hello i'm back
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Thursday, December 8th, 2005
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8:32 pm - BORDEM
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Waxahachie licks balls i am going fucking insane oh my god........ well just a few more weeks that is what i have to tell myself then after that i will be getting a career>yeah by the way i want to say congrats to jon jon & susan i hope all is well
current mood:  bored
current music: none watching the apprentice
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
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3:22 pm - going back to school
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things are well for me right now i am going to be going to cosmo. school it should be fun>> kinda exciting
current mood:  excited
current music: the fire arcade
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, May 19th, 2005
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3:14 pm
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well i started my new job i am a nanny it seems to pay really good and will give more credits to my voulenteer work at scottish rite so yeepee half a year to a hopefull full scholarship that's all goodbye
oh and by the way non-point is playing at curtain club tonight so if you feel like it come out
current mood:  silly
current music: i am x
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, April 28th, 2005
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4:48 pm - a little jot
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well i got a place in irving things are going good as good can be. just saying hello to a FEW FACES YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE
current mood: flirty
current music: pale
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
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1:26 am - i did it
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well i got the job and not only that i am going to be the assistant manager of vitamin world in the irving mall is that bad ass or what. well i am doing good not so much last week i did an injury for everyday but this week is looking hopefull. i am staying sober only a little bit of drinking. damnit i am going to do it i am going to prove motherfuckers wrong. so i guess you can say all in all life is alright. and i got an confirmation on the app. for the piercing so extra extra money for me.
current mood: chipper
current music: mercury rev w/ a little bit of placebo
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(comment on this)
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Monday, April 5th, 2004
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12:04 am
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once in a while
i open completey
compelled and
calmly spellbound
in a pair of global eye's
smiling eye's
grasping eye's
eye of the storm you aspire to be
i shine with the lighting electric scruting
of your rolling up's and down's
roaring on the burning marshmellow yellow
in my chest
scorching fire
setting my shivering ashes free
to the serephim wind
i have been that free angel
free thinker
free flyer
patent leather and gleaming evil
black grins and devil worshiping feet
flat foot sole selling expiring
thieving feet which steal as
much patience as possible while
waiting to escape this gravitational
circle of ignorance
MORE TO COME
current mood: sore
current music: fugazi enough said
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, April 1st, 2004
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1:56 am - tommorrow
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well tommorrow i have my interview at vitamin world hope it goes good> sad to hear that sunday's have turned to shit> i hope that my best friend in the whole entire world can forgive me you know who you are if you are reading this> i love you and miss you very very much> i wanna make it right> and at the present moment i really wish i could kill my mother the stupid bitch lied to me about my uncle he is living in texas and has recent pictures of me> what a hoe. well back to watching the cable guy
current mood:  frustrated
current music: boy sets fire
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, March 29th, 2004
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4:44 pm - an introduction
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hello my name is Shadawn and i am new in this group i began cutting in 1st grade i believe and i have found that this will never go away. i live in irving for the moment and hate it. i am old enough to face the dawn but maybe the suns light will dim. And if i am a victim of the night i will not be blinded by that light.
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
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10:31 pm - >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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why is darkness light to me? why won't you leave me the fuck alone. i can not see cutting as a promblem more like how a little kid feel's when they get an ice cream cone is how i like the touch of a blade across my skin. well i am finally moving back to dallas thank god>> civilization hehe. can't wait. so the doctor up my dose of lithium and seroquel what to do what to do. I am going to be getting my own place that will be nice. job yeah. more tattoos on the way and hopefully i will finish my app. at the tat. parlor for piercing that would be great.
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, February 18th, 2004
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8:37 pm - wishing for the worst
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i think that i have been looking at the negative and not the positive in my life cody is studing to become an entertainment lawyer maybe that will be a good break in my life things have been hard lines have been crossed words spoken and words not spoken i have to live for today not yesturday damnit i just want to grab myself and say gawd shadawn snap the fuck out of it well you know what i have snaped the fuck out of it and god damnit does it feel great so a big tounge out to eveyone who thought i was failing i am not i am here and strong.i have not gone under like my mother or father and i do have people to thank for that so thank you>> jon jon, lindsey, and brad.
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, January 27th, 2004
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9:45 pm - searching
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alright up in irving for the week
hello to all kisses and such
searching for a job online fucking sucks
my cat is going to have babies :)
here is a didy just for you
we lie avoiding confrontation
stering away together
you think of hot mad beauty
bitterness you could taste
want to taste
but have not licked again
and after all here in your bed
under weak moonlight
the need is stilled
a spring wind pulled through
a gaping window
in cool whisper of death
we draw closer....
*there was no rest
no rest before you whispered
i felt a fever take over me
a light headed daze
that will not subside..............
blah blah blah goodnight
current mood:  curious
current music: pavement
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, June 24th, 2003
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1:34 am - night at tom and ben's house friends of cody's
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well hello i am making a post god damn it has been a while and i am wide awake. hehe ;)
hello to jason the MR. Game i love ya and miss you.. i do not really have much to say so i will go just saying hello.
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, July 18th, 2002
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11:12 pm - this is an entry i guess
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well it has been awhile since i have jotted anything down in my journal so i figured i might as well. for a little while i was living at the winsted off gaston yes nina right across the street from you. things were very very rocky i thought i knew a good friend but did not every where you look well in my life with close (guy) friends i have had all just wanted to use and leave except for one we both sort of left each other. now i am at my mom's with strip throat and feeling yucky time to take medicine and go to bed.
current mood: crappy
current music: the beta band
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Friday, May 24th, 2002
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8:57 am - OMG one of my fav. movies from the 80's how fucking awsome big john C. fan MMmmmmmmm
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8:53 am - eww i die wow how cool
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8:48 am - hmm rather amusing true but not true at the same time i would figure mine would invole blood
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8:39 am - NO MAS
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can i just say that th get up kids rock my motha fucking world!!
ok so something i forgot to mention before on my b-day i went to go see squad 5-O it was a good show there music stylings have changed since iv'e seen em' in Canada but still great. well i am off to Austin this weekend with John Judy to go see lindsey hopefully it will be a blast. tonight is a celebration of no more school for shadawn yeepeee no more fucking stupid people for the moment.
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(comment on this)
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8:39 am - yeah i am NOT :) shitz and giggles for me!! hehe
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shadawn's journal
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